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Post by skitnica on Jan 31, 2007 9:58:51 GMT
On a recent transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning.
One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. "I'm too young to die," she wails.
Then she yells, "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable!
Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN?" For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril. They all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane.
Then a Croatian man stands up in the rear of the plane.
He is gorgeous, tall, well built, with dark brown hair and blue eyes.
He starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt ... one button at a time.
.......No one moves.
.......He removes his shirt.
......Muscles ripple across his chest.
......She gasps...
......He whispers....
"Iron this, and get me something to eat!"
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Post by dado112233 on Jan 31, 2007 11:54:06 GMT
a ti skitnice nemas nikakvog posla samo pises po fjorumu?
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Post by skitnica on Jan 31, 2007 12:41:41 GMT
a ti skitnice nemas nikakvog posla samo pises po fjorumu? nije da nemam, samo sam dobra u delegiranju i multitaskingu!
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Post by dado112233 on Jan 31, 2007 12:43:03 GMT
a ti skitnice nemas nikakvog posla samo pises po fjorumu? nije da nemam, samo sam dobra u delegiranju i multitaskingu! how yes no
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Post by skitnica on Feb 4, 2007 0:53:10 GMT
Trckara svinja (oink-oink) po svinjcu.
Spazi uticnicu, pa je pita: "A zasto su tebe zazidali?!"
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
(preuzeto s jednog bloga na bloger.hr)
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Post by pink milk on Feb 4, 2007 2:48:34 GMT
Trckara svinja (oink-oink) po svinjcu. Spazi uticnicu, pa je pita: "A zasto su tebe zazidali?!" ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D (preuzeto s jednog bloga na bloger.hr) Hallo sitnica taj ti vic ne vrijedi ovdje u England ovdje su ti uticnice sa tri rupice ;D ;D ;D
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Post by skitnica on Feb 4, 2007 17:12:22 GMT
Trckara svinja (oink-oink) po svinjcu. Spazi uticnicu, pa je pita: "A zasto su tebe zazidali?!" ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D (preuzeto s jednog bloga na bloger.hr) Hallo sitnica taj ti vic ne vrijedi ovdje u England ovdje su ti uticnice sa tri rupice ;D ;D ;D 'el ga ja pricam Englezima?
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Post by pink milk on Feb 6, 2007 15:45:41 GMT
Uce djeca u skoli o ljekovima kad uciteljica pita klince: Tko bi mi znao nabrojati neke ljekove??? Ipoburofen za glavobolju veli mala Marica. Uciteljica:Bravo Marice Javi se ivica pa kaze:Vijagra za proljev Zasto Ivice???upita uciteljica Ivica:pa svake veceri kad su moji mama i tata u spavacoj sobi ja cujem iza vrata mamu kako kaze tati:Nemoj se zezat daj popij Viagru da ti se taj drek stvrdne.
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Post by skitnica on Feb 6, 2007 16:51:48 GMT
A Polish man moved to the Ireland and married a Cork girl. Although his English was Far from perfect, they got along very well Until one day he rushed in a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce For him. The lawyer said getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions: Have you any grounds? Yes, an acre and half and nice little home. No, I mean what is the foundation of this case? It made of concrete. I don't think you understand. I mean, how are your relations? All my relations still in Poland. Is there infidelity in your marriage? We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player. Does your wife beat you up? No, I always up before her. Is your wife a nagger? No, she white. Why do you want this divorce? She going to kill me. What makes you think that? I got proof. What kind of proof? She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at pharmacy and put on Shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say:
"Polish Remover."
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Post by pink milk on Feb 6, 2007 19:28:47 GMT
Hallo sitnica taj ti vic ne vrijedi ovdje u England ovdje su ti uticnice sa tri rupice ;D ;D ;D 'el ga ja pricam Englezima? sitnica oprosti, skitnica!!! ako ga ne pises Englezima nemoj ni na Engleskom... nema logike kuzis?
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Post by skitnica on Feb 6, 2007 21:05:30 GMT
taj nije bio na engleskom, a ovaj drugi mi se nije dalo prevodit! A I NE BI IMALO SMISLA KAD BI VIC ZAVRSIO RJECJU "ACETON"! ;D ;D
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Post by Maedo on Feb 6, 2007 21:44:07 GMT
Doleti bumbar do tratincice pa je pozove na tulum. No tratincica ce na to: " Ne idem vise na tulume, prosli put kad sam bila kod jaglaca na tulumu fotosinteza mi je kasnila tjedan dana..."
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Post by pink milk on Feb 14, 2007 11:52:36 GMT
Dodje Srbin na buvljak i prodavac mu ponudi detektor lazi za samo 100 kuna. Srbin se zacudi kako tako jeftino ali kupi ga nakon kraceg razmisljanja. Dolazi kuci i u tom trenutku ide sin iz skole. Sto si dobio iz matematike? - upita ga majka sa vrata. -Pet! ''Tuuuuuuut''. - oglasi se detektor lazi. - Ma, govori, sta si dobio? -Cetiri. ''Tuuuuut''. -Sunce ti zarko, govori! - nervozno ce majka. -Jedan. ( detektor nista. ) -Ja kad sam isla u skolu imala sam sve petice! - doda majka. -''Tuuuuuuuuuuut''. - ponovo se oglasi detektor. - Pa dobro, nisam, ali nisam imala ni sve jedinice. Ukljuci se i otac u pricu: - Kad sam ja is'o u skolu... ''Tuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut''. - prekine ga detektor. Pa, dobro, da sam is'o nikad ne bi imao sve jedinice. - Ma, pusti me, sta me napadas! - povice sin na sav glas. A majka skoci: - Kako to pricas sa ocem! ''Tuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut'' ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Post by skitnica on Feb 14, 2007 16:39:38 GMT
Na sredini Paskog mosta, na samom rubu ograde, stoji preljepa i savrseno gradjena plavusa. Gleda dolje u sinje more i hoce se ubit, kad ... naide mladi i naociti pomorac u uniformi.
- Djevojko, sto to radis nasred mosta? - povice pomorac.
- Ma hocu se ubit, svi me muskarci svaki dan samo zele seviti i nista ise, nitko se nebi samnom druzio i razgovarao! - odgovori tuzno plavusa. - Nemoj tako, nismo svi isti, evo ja se upravo danas ukrcavam na brod za Ameriku, pa ako hoces kreni samnom na besplatni put. Mozes spavati na drugom krevetu u mojoj kabini a ja cu ti potajno donositi hranu. Samo...,moras mi obecati da ces ostati skrivena u mojoj kabini, jer ako te kapetan otkrije oboje smo nastradali.
....I razmisli plavusa i pomisli: "Evo nade za bolji zivot u Americi!" - i tajno se, te noci ukrca s njim na brod... Prvog dana donese pomorac dorucak u kabinu i vrati se na posao. Donese joj rucak i opet se vrati na posao. Navecer joj donese veceru i mrtav umoran od posla srusi se u svoj krevet i zaspi. I tako isto bijase i drugi, i treci i peti dan ... A plavusi, iz dana u dan, pomorac sve drazi i drazi, pa nakon tjedan dana shvati da se zaljubila u njega. Kada je te veceri dosao u kabinu, ona ga poljubi i zavrse u zestokom seksu .
I tako plovise oni dva i pol mjeseca. Preko dana on bi radio, a ona bi, zahvalna i sretna, s uzivanjem cistila i pospremala njihovu kabinu. A svaku bi vecer uski brodski krevet glasno skripio od njihovog strasnog seksa. Sve dok jednog prijepodneva u kabinu slucajno ne udje kapetan broda. Ugleda prekrasnu plavusu i u cudu je upita:
- Djevojko sto vi radite na mom brodu !!??
-Ma znate kapetane ..., ja sam se htjela ubiti jer me muskarci zele samo seviti i nitko se od njih ne bi se samnom druzio i razgovarao. Spasio me vas mladi pomorac i poveo ovim brodom na put u Ameriku. Riskirao je svoj posao kako bi mi pomogao i predivan je prema meni, cijeli dan naporno radi i donosi mi hranu. Zavoljeli smo se i svaku vecer istinski vodimo ljubav dok se nase duse i tijela spajaju u jedno. Razno-razni pokvarenjaci vise ne iskoristavaju moje tijelo, vise me nitko, kako vi muskarci odvratno kazete, ne "jebe"... Kapetan je mirno pogleda preko svojih naocala i hladnokrvno odgovori:
- Jebe on tebe sreco, jebe ...
ovo je trajekt Prizna - Zigljen !!!
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Post by skitnica on Feb 14, 2007 17:27:21 GMT
In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.
The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.
Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of "thingytails", "highballs" and just a good old-fashioned "stiff drink". Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.
Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them
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