Post by Ruza on Sept 16, 2003 16:56:33 GMT
FLYING THE FRIENDLY CROATIAN SKIES
"Good morning, ladies and gentlemen, this is your Captain, Ante and my
co-pilot Ante and his cousin Ante is also assisting with the flight we
welcome you to Croatian Air flight 123 -testing jedan, dva, tri.
We apologize for the 4-day delay in taking off due to the new kafic which has just opened in Mostar. It is with great pleasure that I can announce that, starting this year; nearly 50 percent of our passengers reached their destination on time.
We do have a number of court cases pending but if you are disgruntled at the delay in this flight, our stewards, Zvonimir Jebiga and Konobar Branko will be happy to brief you on our out-of-court settlement policies.
To make your journey pleasant and memorable we serve complimentary Rakija.
Typically Croatian of course, we will also be handing out "krunice" for those who pray them and for the non Catholics....please convert before its too late!!!!
Spasi dusu svoju as all of our grandmothers would tell us repeatedly our entire life until they took their last breaths.
Fresh Goats Milk lattes' and some bucanje down the centre isle. For our non-European passengers we are the only Airline who can help you find out how Laid back the Croats really are. We regret that there is no in-flight movie, as The Croatian Television Acting Association were on strike for a four hour period, and we were not able to record the Movie of the Week from the TV station broadcast this week.
Life jackets are under your seats and free bathing costumes are available to the Teta's and free bathing trunks to the Striko's for emergency landings in water.
There is no smoking in this aircraft. Any smoke you may see in the cabin is only the early warning system of the engines telling us to slow down and you do not need to panic. However, if you cant resist a smoke, there is a cigarette machine in the back.
Kindly be seated, place your seat in the upright position for takeoff and
fasten your seat belt. For those who do not have a seat-belt, kindly fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat.
We hope you will enjoy your trip with us, especially when we fly as close as possible to the ground for the best view of the farms which are still available for "settlement." While we are in flight, for your own safety and the safety of you other fellow travellers, please, please, Do Not Feed the Koze.
BOG I HRVATI.
GOD BLESS CROATIA.
"Good morning, ladies and gentlemen, this is your Captain, Ante and my
co-pilot Ante and his cousin Ante is also assisting with the flight we
welcome you to Croatian Air flight 123 -testing jedan, dva, tri.
We apologize for the 4-day delay in taking off due to the new kafic which has just opened in Mostar. It is with great pleasure that I can announce that, starting this year; nearly 50 percent of our passengers reached their destination on time.
We do have a number of court cases pending but if you are disgruntled at the delay in this flight, our stewards, Zvonimir Jebiga and Konobar Branko will be happy to brief you on our out-of-court settlement policies.
To make your journey pleasant and memorable we serve complimentary Rakija.
Typically Croatian of course, we will also be handing out "krunice" for those who pray them and for the non Catholics....please convert before its too late!!!!
Spasi dusu svoju as all of our grandmothers would tell us repeatedly our entire life until they took their last breaths.
Fresh Goats Milk lattes' and some bucanje down the centre isle. For our non-European passengers we are the only Airline who can help you find out how Laid back the Croats really are. We regret that there is no in-flight movie, as The Croatian Television Acting Association were on strike for a four hour period, and we were not able to record the Movie of the Week from the TV station broadcast this week.
Life jackets are under your seats and free bathing costumes are available to the Teta's and free bathing trunks to the Striko's for emergency landings in water.
There is no smoking in this aircraft. Any smoke you may see in the cabin is only the early warning system of the engines telling us to slow down and you do not need to panic. However, if you cant resist a smoke, there is a cigarette machine in the back.
Kindly be seated, place your seat in the upright position for takeoff and
fasten your seat belt. For those who do not have a seat-belt, kindly fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat.
We hope you will enjoy your trip with us, especially when we fly as close as possible to the ground for the best view of the farms which are still available for "settlement." While we are in flight, for your own safety and the safety of you other fellow travellers, please, please, Do Not Feed the Koze.
BOG I HRVATI.
GOD BLESS CROATIA.